My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
