There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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