I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
