let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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