Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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