She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
