I threw up into my coffee this morning.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
