You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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