Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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