Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
