Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
