and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
