If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
