The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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