Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
What a dumb baby whore.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
