hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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