tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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