love makes seman taste better
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
