I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
