WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize