i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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