Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
