you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
