Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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