Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
