If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
