I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
