I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
