I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
