remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize