I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
NoShamevember. You game?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
