entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
