Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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