Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
