you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
