***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I skipped work to stalk him.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
