then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
