his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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