dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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