Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize