Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
