ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
