Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
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