first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
