Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My vagina is very pro this idea
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