Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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