I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
