i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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