So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
