Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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