I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
