its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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