my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize