too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
