Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
