i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
