He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize