Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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