i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
