Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize