i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
