I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just gargled with NyQuil
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize