fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
