the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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