How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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