During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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