It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
