You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
