i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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