Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
